“Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Mayroon akong dalawang anak. Papaano na ang kinabukasan nila”? (I don’t know what to do .I have two children. What will happen to their future?)

These are the words that Simone uttered, upon learning that she was positive with the human immuno-deficiency virus (HIV).

Simone Abalos (not her real name), a 45-year-old mother to an 11-year-old boy and an 18-year old single mother, is a domestic helper in Hongkong for almost nine (9) years. Her son stays with a relative, while her daughter and grandchild stay with her.

She discovered that she was HIV-positive in 2013 during her medical check-up in Hongkong as a pre-requisite for employment. Upon learning of her condition, Simone’s employer immediately terminated her.

“Nag-internet ako para malaman ang sakit ko. Wala kasi akong ideya kung bakit ako pinauwi ng amo ko gayong wala naman akong nararamdamang kakaiba sa katawan ko,” Simone narrated.

Doubtful of her condition, she decided to go to another clinic for a re-test. When the second doctor confirmed her positive condition, she immediately thought that her life would change.

“I asked myself : why me?’” she said. “Then I experienced an anxiety attack for the first time in my life,” she added. “On the way back to where I was staying, I felt that I was going to faint, but I wanted to head home as fast as possible. I was a little numbed by the result and the numbness gradually transformed into anger. It was quite unlike any anger I’d ever felt before and quite literally consumed me. There were two focuses for this anger. First of all, there was myself. My diagnosis with HIV provided an opportunity to beat myself up, but most of all I was furious with the man who gave me HIV,” she stated.

But she had to face it bravely for the sake of her children and grandchild as well. “I never really thought about death or dying. I suppose I just stuck my head in the sand. I told my mother, who thought it was the end of the world, and a few close relatives, but I didn’t tell any of my friends for three or four years.”

She immediately went to see her live-in partner, a French national, with whom she had been living for almost three years, but was very upset when she could not locate him. She later found out that he had already quit his job and had left for New York.

“Alam kong sa kanya ko nakuha ang sakit ko. Hiwalay kasi ako sa asawa ko at wala naman akong ibang boyfriend,” Simone said.

Simone stated that she met her live-in partner in Hongkong and they decided to live together. They even planned to settle for good and raise kids.

“Having HIV is not the end of the world, although I do have dark moments, especially if things go wrong. Occasionally, it can be debilitating, physically and mentally. At one point, I collapsed for 30 minutes in the office, which I guess is the effect of drugs I’m taking,” explained Simone. “I also became allergic with whatever kind of bread I am eating, which again, I was told, was down to the HIV.”

Simone is currently with Project Red Ribbon and receives an allowance just enough to feed her family. Her sister provides financial help for her other medical needs.

“It does affect my life. I can’t get a better job, although I have been hired in Project Red Ribbon, a care management program that links advocacy groups with individuals to assist them to obtain discreet HIV testing, while also conducting awareness programs, and most importantly, provide care and support for PLHIV (Persons Living with HIV) as a volunteer worker.”

“There is also the issue of who to tell. Due to the stigma that comes with HIV, you have to be careful with who you tell. In the past I didn’t tell anybody, although these days I am open about it,” relayed Simone.

"The more people are open about HIV, the less stigma there will be. I went public with my condition in 2013 and am at the point now where I really don’t care who knows about my status. I often do lectures in different places-schools, communities, jails, etc. I feel that unless you are open about your status, nothing will really change. If you hide your HIV status in a dark corner, that's where you'll feel you are.”

Simone stated that since she contracted the deadly disease in 2013, her message to the public, especially to the young ones, continues to be the same: “HIV is not the end of the world. Hindi pa katapusan ng mundo. Matuto kayong lumaban para as inyong pamilya. Lumabas kayo at sabihin ang katotohanan lalo na sa inyong mga mahal sa buhay.”

Undaunted by her health condition which has resulted in her having a roller-coaster life, she said that before, she had a “No Care Attitude.” She pointed out that because of this, she entered into a relationship with a foreigner, thinking that it would help her alleviate their poverty. She never thought that she would contract a deadly disease. This, she said was due to her ignorance of the disease and a number of factors relating to it as the man she slept with seemed to be a ‘clean, decent and healthy individual.’

She soon found out that what the deadly mistake had cost her. Today she is struggling to cope with the many uphill challenges and medical difficulties that it continues to take her through.

Determined to make the best of her life and with an undying passion to help, especially young people not to make the same mistake, Simone uses her life story as a deterrent for others, so that they can avoid contracting the disease. She declared that she has no time to sit around mourning or moping about what she should or shouldn’t have done. She would rather get up and do things and present options to young people: what they should do to ensure that they are properly ‘educated’ about the disease, and the effects of living with HIV/AIDS.

“My story is one that has caused me lots of pain and agony, and I would not want anyone to take the path that I took as I know that it is painful and heartbreaking. But I believe that this very story can bring faith and education to many people out there, so regardless of how I feel, I will tell my story so as to save as many lives as I can,” a determined Simone said.

Today, she is grateful to PhilHealth for the Out-Patient HIV/AIDS Treatment (OHAT) Package that provided her with free drugs and medicines and laboratory examination, among others. “Malaki ang pasalamat ko sa PhilHealth at talagang natutulungan ako sa aking kalagayan. Kaya lang, yung laboratory for creatinine testing at testing for CD4 at viral load ay hindi kasama. Medyo may kamahalan pa naman yun. Sana maisama ito sa pakete ng PhilHealth.”

She clarified that while medication is given, it doesn’t take away the pain and the reality of being infected. But it reduces the pain to some extent, as she said the reality is that you are living with the disease and there is a limit to what you can or are permitted to do, and there is nothing much that can be done, at least right now.

Her advice: “We have one life and therefore we should live it focusing on God while ensuring that whoever we choose to engage with sexually that it is the one that we have chosen to spend our life with. My mistake has resulted in untold challenges and difficulties and certainly a lot of pain but what can I do, I just have to continue my life so please learn from me and not make the mistakes that I did,” she declared.

Human immunodeficiency virus infection and acquired immune deficiency syndrome (HIV/AIDS) is a spectrum of conditions caused by infection with the HIV. It is spread primarily by unprotected sex (including anal and oral sex), contaminated blood transfusions, hypodermic needles, and from mother to child during pregnancy, delivery, or breastfeeding.

Based on the report of the HIV/AIDS and ART Registry of the Philippines (HARP) of the Department of Health Epidemiology Bureau released in February 2016, there were 751 new HIV cases, most were male and more than half belonging to the 24-34 age range, 29 percent were youth aged 15-24 years.

The regions with the highest number of cases include the National Capital Region, Region IVA and Region VII. Sexual contact was the predominant mode of transmission, followed by needle-sharing among injecting drug users and mother-to-child transmission.

A total of 1,649 deaths were reported from January 1984 to February 2016.

Treatment for HIV/AIDS is being paid for by PhilHealth through its OHAT Package. The package rate is P30,000 per year which covers drugs and medicines, laboratory exams based on the specific treatment guidelines and professional fees of providers and may be availed of in any PhilHealth accredited treatment hubs nationwide.

The total number of claims paid for OHAT package from January to December 2015 was 15,439, and total amount reached P115,792,500.00. This figure is 67 percent higher than what PhilHealth paid for in 2014. Distribution of payments by sector shows that 50 percent of the P115M was paid to members in the Informal Economy and 45 percent was paid to members in the Formal Economy. Around four (4) percent was paid to Sponsored Program members, .74 percent to OFW-members, and .51 percent to Lifetime members. (END) (Emy M. Retuta & Michelle S. Nisperos)